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alcaison

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new stuff [Jan. 17th, 2006|01:50 pm]
alcaison
Like I said, things over here are going to be a bit more personal. I'm not mentioning this at all over at Newfoundhome, but I think that this cozy place is ideal. Becky and I are going to try to have a baby. Yeah, that's sort of a big deal. Especially since I've definitely been against procreation most of my life. Well at least as long as I was aware enough to consider it. And, for many, many reasons. But, things change, people change and I'm no different than the rest of mass society I guess. Really, what it was that pushed me over the decision edge was the realization that my life isn't exactly something that is determined by others, but instead it is something I can actually shape. So, I have a shitty family and I don't like going home or anything like that. There is no joy, no happiness and I blame my family for 100% of my generalized depression and negative outlook on life. Yep. No doubt. And others who know me and my family concurr - I'm not making this up or exaggerating. So, this originally translated into me never wanting to have a family. I famously noted that children didn't decide to be born, so it was fairly arrogant of me to assume that a child would want to live and then force that on them. Well, lately, I've taken a more pro-active approach. I've come to think that if I want a happy family, a house full of life and joy and laughter and craziness and fun, and since my natal family is completely the opposite of this vision, then I should do something about that. Instead of just crapping around, bemoning my awful luck in the family environment category, I could instead have a family of my own and build an environmet of just what I want. I can have a happy family; a house full of life and joy and uniqueness. So, this shift from a victim mentality to one of proactive engagment has resulted in us getting a referral to a fertility clinic. Now, who's doing the chemistry experiment? Nope, I couldn't go that far - its going to be Becky. I'm still not convinced my genes (or at least half of them) need to get advanced into the next round. Sadly enough, Becky feels the same way so we are in agreement that she's the one going under the (figurative) turkey baster. See, wow, already like 49 times more personal and relevant than Newfoundhome. Yee Haw.
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